Midnight Shadows
by The Genius Mage
Summary: My version of Roxas's time in the Organization.Keep in mind it was made before 358/2. Please R and R.
1. Nobody

_I'll continue writing this at my own pace, but I'll try for a chapter or two a week. I'm aware it isn't exactly like Roxas's story but hey, it's a fan fiction. _

Chapter One: Nobody

I wasn't really sure what to think of my life at first.

It seemed to be comprised of nothing, nothing but a crushing, eternal blackness that stretched on forever. I wasn't sure how long I remained like this, half formed thoughts forming in my mind before flicking away. Brief glimpses of..._something_...or someone, but they were always gone before I could fully capture their meaning.

For a brief moment, I felt a startling feeling rush through me. I felt empty.

Then, suddenly, it was gone. And light blossomed into my world.

I wasn't really sure where I was, but my mind automatically produced words for everything I saw, though technically speaking I had just been born. No child would have a vocabulary like mine. I saw something bright and yellow my mind instantly told me was called the sun, a mansion, a gate, many different things besides. My mind seemed to know exactly what everything was, as if I had lived a decent time on the earth before.

The fact remained I still had no idea where I was.

I sat like that for a while, staring around, before someone appeared. He looked...cold. Emotionless. He had dark skin and silver hair, and flat orange eyes that showed very little but interest.

I stared, and he explained some things to me. Explained how I was a Nobody, (which I took as an insult until he fully explained), explained how I was "special", and explained how he wanted me to join his group to gain the answers that I sought.

It was incredibly tempting, and seeing how I had no where else to go, I wanted to agree. But something was wrong. The way he was looking at me wasn't right. I turned down his offer.

I learned his name was Xemnas, and he showed me a name. In glowing letters the simple four lettered word was "Sora", and he added an X to the end. I watched the letters shift and he informed me this would be my name. It never occurred to me until just then I was nameless, and I watched as the letters finally slowed down to form the name I would be called for the rest of my existence.

Roxas.

A burning need suddenly flared up inside of me, it was amazing in its strength. I wanted, more than anything at the moment, to learn who Sora was. Who was he? Was he one of the strange flickering memories that never solidly turned itself into a picture in my mind?

To my surprise, Xemnas let me walk away, his strange eyes locked onto me. I headed through the forest near the edge of the mansion, wandering through a hole in the wall into town. A sign informed me it was called "Twilight Town". I watched the pedestrians walk by, smelled the scents a city usually has, food, smoke, the faintest trace of water...

I saw some kids, three of them, one a girl the rest boys, talking together and eating some blue ice cream. I felt my heart twist, wondering if even that sensation was real. They looked really happy together, laughing and joking, one of them quickly dodging the girl's topic of a summer report and diving into a story about the beach.

Jealously ripped through me like wildfire. I quickly walked away, leaving the chattering friends to their activities.

A voice.

"Y'know, you don't have to wander around like this."

I jerked, spun around to see a man with red hair and strange markings under his eyes surveying me. I didn't like it instantly, he was dressed in the same black cloak Xemnas had been in.

"Who are you?" I said suspiciously, my own voice sounded strange to my ears.

"Axel."

Silence. Suddenly, he smiled and handed me a blue ice cream stick. I stared like an imbecile, looking at it suspiciously.

"It isn't poisoned you know." Axel took a big lick out of his.

I licked it gingerly. It had an odd flavor, salty but sweet.

"Want to talk up on the clock tower? I know a way up there. I don't think Xemnas did a good job explaining the Organization to you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why do you guys want me in the Organization so much?"

"If you come with me, I'll tell you."

I hesitated, but followed him to the clock tower in the distance. We had to pass the laughing kids again. One of them, the blond male, gave me a funny look, like I was a gangster or something.

We sat down on the high clock tower, our feet dangling over the void. It was a long way down.

"The Organization is comprised of people like you and me...Nobodies." Axel said. He grimaced. "We don't have hearts, mentally speaking. We can't truly feel. Some of us remember, like me I guess, how it felt to be happy or mad. Some don't remember that, like Saix. He's a member of Organization XIII too, got it memorized?"

Was that all I was, a Nobody _remembering _what it felt like to...feel?

"The Organization wants to help. We're seeking for our hearts, trying to find it. We want to be whole, I guess."

I remembered that feeling of emptiness I had experienced, terrifying in its depth. But it wasn't there now.

Axel flicked the stick off the tower, watching it sail downwards. "I could blabber on more, but I can't say much else. That's us in our core. What do you say?"

What could I do? I accepted.


	2. Organization XIII

Chapter Two: Organization XIII

The Organization members were ranked according by the time they joined. The leader being Xemnas, then Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel,Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene. And, of course, me, being the thirteenth member of the Organization.

I couldn't help wondering how they could have been Organization XIII without me, and I suddenly felt uneasy. Was it possible that they had always planned to initiate me into the group? Or had a member died?

What Axel had said was true, some did remember emotions. Except they just seemed to be the wrong ones.

Larxene, a female, for example seemed to be in a constant facade of friendliness to me, but her eyes had an eerie sharp quality to them that plainly said she was bad news. She seemed to be glad she wasn't the newbie to the group anymore and teased me subtly sometimes about it.

I ignored her. I preferred to hang out with Axel, asking him questions that I wouldn't dare ask anyone else.

For example, the other members and I sit in really tall white chairs that no normal guy could possibly ascend. They were tall based on what you did for the group, not by rank. Some chairs form the lower members were higher than the chairs from the senior ones, but Xemnas was always in the tallest chair.

Once Axel and I were alone I asked how anyone even got up there. He cracked up into fits of laughter, pausing for breath only to tell me that they used "Dark Portals" or some such nonsense. I would have to learn, he said.

Not only that, but I asked if he knew who Sora was. Here I expected that he wasn't telling me something, he casually avoided the subject with a new one based on why I was special.

"You see, we believe you have a special...ah...ability, but it can only be accessed with danger. So, if you don't mind..."

Without warning some weird creatures stalked toward me, with long white bodies that stretched way too far to be normal. I remember Axel encouraging me to do something, but he looked worried as the beings, (I was told later they were called Dusks, lesser Nobodies), grew closer to me. Suddenly, in flash of white light and a flare of dark fire, two odd weapons that looked like decorated and odd keys appeared in my hands. Axel snapped his fingers and the Dusks retreated.

The key swords were surprisingly light. One was dark and twisted looking, the other its mirror image, beautiful silver and blue.

Axel's eyes lit up, as did the rest of the members once I had shown them.

"They're called Keyblades, they'll be your weapons, and their what makes you special. Got it memorized?"

I began to think Axel seemed to enjoy that phrase a lot. I stared at the Keyblades, and words came to my mind for the pair of them.

Black and white. Oblivion and Oathkeeper.

Darkness and Light. Twilight?

I ignored the chatter of the others as I wondered what they were exactly. Why did the Keyblade choose me? What made me special? Was I special...or Sora, for being his Nobody?

These questions chased their tails around in my mind, over and over, until Axel informed me that we needed combat practice.

Combat practice did not go well the first couple of times, and Larxene snickering and kept offering "advice" which wasn't helping. The senior members rarely showed their faces but the others did offer me some pointers, and soon I was decent with the Keyblades.

"Decent doesn't cover it." Axel had snorted.

Xemnas seemed really...happy almost. Whenever he saw me with the Keyblades his odd eyes were riveted on them, like they were a feast set in front of a starving man.

Demyx was a particularly odd Nobody. He seemed to be nervous all the time, or unsure what he was doing. I saw him taking notes during a meeting once, scribbling things down frantically whenever he was sent on a mission. I began to wonder when I would get to try my hand at a mission.

Once, I had saw on the edges of the city that surrounded the "Castle that Never Was", (I don't get that, its right here!), shadowy creatures that patrolled the edges of the void. Other Nobodies soon chased them away.

"Who are those?" I had asked Axel. He watched the shadow beasts.

"Heartless. Sort of like the other side of us. They're beings made out of rare emotions, peoples hearts. They aren't that bright. Ever since Ansem died they don't have much in the way of a leader, unless Maleficent is coming back."

"Who?" I asked, confused.

Axel was always patient with me, answering my questions whenever he could and musing with me on the answers to those he didn't. He was my only friend in the Organization.

Until I met Xion.


	3. Xion

Chapter Three: Xion

Usually it was Xemnas, (or so I'm told) who goes to Twilight Town to greet the new Nobodies.

For some reason only he knows, he decided to send me to greet the newcomer. Was I nervous? Sure, even though I had a general idea what I should say.

The whole time I waited in Twilight Town, outside the Old Mansion, one thought had my complete and total attention.

_Who was Sora?_

I had no idea, not the slightest inkling, and whenever I wanted to go out alone to find out who this mysterious boy was Axel or someone else accompanied me. I was sure, they were trying to keep me from finding out.

But why?

I frowned, staring at the ground at the fringes of my black Organization cloak. I was so preoccupied with my almost obsessive thoughts that I didn't notice her arrival.

It was a female, she was looking at me in something like confusion. She had deep sad eyes that were the color of sapphires, and dark hair.

I didn't realize until later, my time in the Organization was chipping away at my personality. I was becoming as cold as the others, but only seemed to thaw out around Axel.

"You have arrived."

She stared at me, saying nothing.

"There are things you should know." I leaned casually against the wall of the mansion. "Things you have to know. You are not...normal."

This odd girl still didn't say anything. Were all newborn Nobodies like this, or was it just her?

"You are a Nobody, a being born without a heart." I paused to let that sink in. "But we can help."

She spoke, finally. Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.

"Who's 'we'?"

"The Organization. Organization XIII. We're a group dedicated to finding our hearts."

She tipped her head to the side, studying me with a quiet, intelligent look. I found myself feeling kind of nervous.

"Who are you?" she said at last.

"Roxas."

"And...who am I?"

Here was the issue, the final confusing issue I had no idea how to address. I knew most Nobodies had names that were anagrams of their "Somebodies", with an X thrown in. However, Axel said Xemnas was an exception to that. Maybe she was too.

Before I could answer a Dark Portal whipped open beside me, and Xemnas stepped out. His hood was up, obscuring his face, but I recognized the way he stood and his voice.

"Roxas, I shall name her."

I nodded, still feeling uneasy. A strange feeling, like I should protect her, sprang up. I forced it down.

"You are...Xion."

There was no special naming ceremony, no hidden message in her name I could see. But Xion closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you willing to join us?" Xemnas asked in his deadly calm voice.

Xion nodded slowly. Without another word Xemnas turned on his heel and stalked into the Dark Portal. I saw his triumphant expression in the shadows of his hood. It didn't close behind him, and I assumed he wanted us to follow him.

"Shall we?" I tried to smile, attempting to act friendly. She stared at me with that same long look before stepping into the Portal.

Of course Xion was swarmed and tested by the others, I hated to see her in danger for some reason. Maybe it was because she _looked _so vulnerable, so small. However, I began to see different things in her. She had a sort of stature, a way she stood, that reminded me of a noble or someone proud and strong. She would cast about her gaze with an unusual look, like she knew more than she let on. All the while she rarely spoke.

Of course, this was the most startling. She was thrust into a dangerous situation in an attempt to "judge her prowess". I was startled, like everyone else, when she produced not only Keyblade, but a single gold and white one with an odd Keychain I hadn't seen before.

Was she like me, then? Was she somehow connected to Sora? Wasn't there only one other Keyblade bearer?

Naturally Axel wanted to talk to her. We sat up on the Clock Tower in Twilight Town, attempting to get her to eat some ice cream.

Axel looked like he didn't enjoy his much, but it was hard to tell. He didn't lick his, he bit into it and always dropped the stick.

Like I said, my icy demeanor melted in his presence, as if he were an open flame. (Maybe he was, his element was fire. I don't think I really have one.)

Xion was hard to get talking, so I chattered to her while Axel muttered something about "Different ice cream."

"If we fall from up here," I mused. "It'll be pretty bad." I pantomimed someone falling off the tower, with a small "splat" to accompany it. The ground was _really _far away.

Xion was silent.

Axel shrugged. "I imagine three black figures up here isn't looking any better."

Without warning, Xion broke into laughter. It was unlike any laughter I had ever heard before, it wasn't like Xemnas's cold chuckles, or Axel's snickers. It was like bells chiming in spring weather.

Jealously twisted, hot and fiery, in my stomach again, because _he _had been the one to make her laugh.

Xion closed her eyes again, sighing.

Axel and I exchanged a look. What was wrong with her?

Besides the obvious, I mean.


	4. The Heart of Hearts

Chapter Four: The Heart of Hearts

Things were starting to get awfully repetitive. It seemed Xemnas was reluctant to send me out, and often I only went out to butcher some Heartless who got too close to the castle, along with Xion and a few other Organization members. The only good thing was my chair got higher in the meeting room. I was already higher than some others, thanks to my many defeats of various Heartless in many places.

I was beginning to suspect something was up with this. At first I figured we were doing grunt work because we were the lowest in the Organization, but now I began to wonder exactly why we were being pitted against the Heartless, and only the Heartless, all the time. Surely there were other threats, or other ways for us to assist the Organization?

"Why aren't we fourteen?" Xion said to me suddenly.

I blinked, confused. My Keyblades slashed through another Shadow. "What?"

"Why are we still Organization XIII?" She fixed me with her riveting gaze.

"I...don't know. It was already Organization XIII when I joined, and I'm the thirteenth member."

Xion crossed her arms, looking thoughtful, her Keyblade hanging limply beside her. She didn't move or blink for a long while, in which no Heartless appeared. She looked very thoughtful and beautiful, like a sculpture. Then:

"Do you...think...we're being used?"

I stared at her in confusion. "How so?" But maybe...

"We have Keyblades, right? You'd think...over how happy they were..."

Ah, so she hadn't missed that either.

"That we'd be on more...glamorous missions?" I inquired. I was rewarded with a small smile.

"You'd think so..."

Turns out, Xion wasn't wrong. We beat Heartless up for a couple of hours, (The World that Never Was never seems to change from night), then after watching the pink hearts sail away into the sky we retired back into the Castle.

Axel was gone for two or three days, when I asked Demyx where he thought he had went, he had replied that Axel was on a mission.

Xion and I, preferring to keep to ourselves, noticed that several key members of the Organization, like Marluxia and Larxene, were missing. We both waited eagerly for Axel's return, and it wasn't long before he did.

"Where were you?" asked Xion calmly.

Axel grinned cheekily. "Well, I had to take care of some business...a little problem with the other members..."

"Traitors?" I asked.

We were on our usual spot on the Twilight Town Clock Tower, enjoying the forever setting sun of the world in between.

Axel nodded, narrowing his eyes to green slits.

"Who?"

Axel just smiled. "Nothing to worry your pretty blond head over."]

The tedious activities of the Organization were beginning to repeat themselves, Heartless patrol, meetings, battle practice.

Day in and day out, with me not even bothering to count the days. The only thing that relieved the crushing boredom were my conversations with Xion and Axel. I noticed she seemed to unlock a bit, opening up and speaking more freely with us. She had worries the Organization weren't what they seemed, and sometimes I'd come back from my private retreat, my "room" in the Castle that Never Was, and see them talking. They'd always stop when I entered, and I began to feel suspicious.

One day Axel offered to take us elsewhere for a change of pace from the Clock Tower. We were led to a beautiful island, with palm trees and white sand. The sun was setting into the sea and the kids had all gone home. The only sign they were here were footprints crisscrossing the sand every which way.

Xion paused next to one footprint, the same size and shape as hers. She frowned.

"Something wrong?" Axel asked, sidling over to a bent tree and leaning against it. She shook her head and sat down on the tree, I sat next to her.

We watched the sun sink into the ocean, and night folded its wings over the sky.

I finally decided to ask Axel what I'd been dying to, and not let him get around it.

"Axel, we're friends, right?"

A pause. "Of course." His tone was guarded, a bad sign.

"Then tell me, because I think you know. Who. Is. Sora."

Axel sighed. "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

Before I got an answer, Xion's eyes widened.

"That's it!"

"What?" Axel asked, confused.

"I know why we keep attacking Heartless, Roxas." She continued, ignoring Axel.

Her eyes got bright. "Only the Keyblade can reap hearts, Xemnas must want something with them! What is the Heart of Hearts?"

I stared at her as dawning comprehension exploded in my mind.

"Xemnas wants our help constructing a Kingdom Hearts!"


	5. Her

Chapter Five: Her

Even though it was days after Xion's prediction on Xemnas's construction of a Kingdom Hearts, it was still like a dream to me. There was only one Kingdom Hearts, right?

Right?!

Unfortunately I couldn't seem to find time to talk to them about it, Xion and I were always busy on missions, and Axel kept vanishing on his mysterious trips to Castle Oblivion, Marluxia's headquarters.

It was beginning to become clear Axel and Xion were keeping something from me. Stupidly, I really hoped they weren't in some kind of relationship.

Why? I wasn't jealous, but I don't think us emotionless Nobodies have the heart for a true love relationship. But something told me that wasn't it. There was only one thing to do for it. I decided to spy on Axel and Xion.

It wasn't too hard, after Xion's startling revelation on the building of a Kingdom Hearts we had been meeting a lot at the bent tree on the island, always at night and always careful to not leave too much evidence someone else visited the kids' play area. We split up to sleep, (turns out Nobodies do need it), but I quickly ported back and hid in the shadows on top of an old shed near the bent tree. It wasn't Axel here, to my surprise. It was someone else entirely.

It was a boy, not quite a man yet, with shaggy grey hair and a blindfold over his eyes. He moved like he could still see. He was wearing an Organization cloak, but it was no one I recognized.

Xion appeared, approaching him calmly, her tired blue eyes fixed on his face.

"Are you mad at me?" I heard her ask the boy.

His reply was measured. "No."

"I can't do it. I can't."

"She will never be whole without you, and through her, him."

Who was "her"? And "him"?

Xion sighed, turning away partially to look at the sea. The boy with the wolf like hair didn't move.

"I can't leave them. It'll make them unhappy." She murmured.

The wolf looking boy scoffed. "Unhappy? They're Nobodies, they can't feel anything."

I began to wonder how much Xion had told this boy, and how often they had begun meeting.

"They?" Xion asked quietly.

"I don't think you are one. Or a full one, anyway. You can feel emotions, I'm sure."

Xion was silent again, and wolf boy spoke after the silence stretched uncomfortably far.

"She will never be whole without you."

She? Who was she?

"Yes…I'm sorry, but I can't. They feel more than you think. Do you hate me for that?"

He was silent, then turned and to my surprise entered a Dark Portal, which snapped close behind him like the jaws of some massive dragon.

Xion sat there, looking thoughtful, and I began to feel sorry for my friend.

But, still, who was "she"?

That was it, enough was enough. I finally cornered the pair of them and dragged them to the Clock Tower.

"Xion, are you not telling us something?" I demanded.

Axel looked confused.

Xion diverted her gaze from mine, staring at the floor far below.

"Well?" Axel said at last.

Still nothing, but I wasn't going to break the silence. We sat that way for a full four minutes before she said:

"I have to go with her."

"What?" Axel and I said in unison.

"She won't be whole without me. It's not fair; to affect him and so many others…I have to."

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Forever." She answered me.

Axel suddenly stood up. "You aren't going anywhere, we're friends, right? Who told you this nonsense anyway?"

"…Him."

"Well 'he' obviously doesn't know anything. We have to find our hearts; not cease to exist forever! Got it memorized?"

Xion gave a cold laugh that made my hair tingle.

"Axel, we're being used. I think Xemnas knows I know, it's only a matter of time. What will we do with this Kingdom Hearts? Even if we find a heart, it won't be ours, not truly. It'll belong to someone else. Our real heart is with our Somebody."

The air became heated.

"You can't leave."

Xion stood up. "Are you going to make me?" The challenge was clear in her voice.

"Hang on, hang on!" I shouted, standing up. "What's up here? Axel, I think we _do _need to talk some sense into Xion, but we really can't stop her can we?"

Axel narrowed his eyes to green fiery slits. Xion's blue eyes flashed.

Before I knew it Xion was off, sprinting down the Tower stairs. We raced after her, black cloaks flapping like bat wings, racing across Twilight Town, dodging kids and adults alike. I almost tripped over a cat. We must have looked pretty stupid.

Bursting out of the forest Xion whirled around, cornered for the moment, at the gate of the Old Mansion.

"No matter how many times you run, I'll keep on bringing you back!" Axel said. His odd, spiked weapons whirled into his grip in a burst of fire.

Xion's Keyblade flashed into her hand.

I stood there, staring, as I realized they were about to attack.


	6. Gone

Chapter Six: Gone

I felt dread weigh me down, I was just frozen in place. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, and fast motion, all at once.

Axel was aiming to knock out, I could tell. I didn't know about Xion, but I doubted she would want to kill Axel either. I watched her flip out of the way of Axel's fire blast, only to be trapped inside the same spiral wall of flames that formed the battle arena that I was in. Axel's chakrams shot forward, blazing the earth and scorching anything it came in contact with.

But it couldn't come in contact with her.

She whirled, twisted, back flipped, dodged, until she became a blur of black. Axel hissed, increasing the inferno, turning up the heat until it was almost unbearable.

Suddenly flashing in Xion dealt two blows to Axel's side, only to be knocked back by a blast of fire. She skidded, then leapt up and regained her balance, skipping from side to side to avoid more of Axel's fire. My cloak whirled around me thanks to the unstable wind Axel's fire created, and the air was hard to breathe in.

Axel caught Xion by her hood as she tried to slip past, his green eyes narrowing. Before he could speak, Xion suddenly blasted him back with some kind of dark energy. Whatever it was, it took a lot out of her. She hunched over, only to flip away as Axel burned the grass to a bare dirt path. The heat waves made everything look almost dream like, with Axel and Xion locked in their combat dance, two specters doing battle.

Unexpectedly Xion stopped dodging and leaped toward Axel, twisting in midair until she was sideways, dodging a charkram, and slammed her Keyblade into his chest. The air knocked out of him, Axel flew backward and landed in his own flames.

Involuntarily I turned my head, worried, but then Axel exploded from the flames in a pillar of fire. Xion, caught off guard, was slammed into the ground where she was caught under Axel's boots. Quick as a snake she slipped from his grasp and before they could go at it again I leaped between them, catching Xion's Keyblade with one of mine and flipping it from her hand, where it clattered to a stop a few feet away. I caught both of the chakrams with Oblivion, and twisted my wrist so hard I heard Axel's brief gasp of pain as I twisted his wrist with mine. He dropped the chakrams, and they vanished before they hit the ground in a flash. On the other side of the burnt clearing Xion's Keyblade did the same.

"Enough!" I growled, staring at both of them. Axel stared at me.

"You can't…you…honestly can't just let her leave can you?" He demanded.

I sighed, keeping my Keyblades out but lowering them. "I don't want her to go." I admitted. "But…it's not our decision."

Xion looked relieved. "Thank you for understanding, but I have to tell you…" She sighed. "My creation…was like a ripple. When I messed with…her…I messed with everything, through her. The ripples spread out and messed with everyone, she was right…she and her friend…"

"Who are they?" I asked, Axel's eyes narrowed as he waited for an answer.

"I can't say. You'll just hunt them down. I'm doing this to keep them out of danger."

_You don't even know these people! _I thought furiously, thinking of the wolf haired boy.

Axel groaned. "But you can't, Xion. I thought we were…y'know…friends?"

Xion's blue eyes glistened, and I swear she was close to tears. "I know, and I'm sorry. You guys did fine before me, you'll have to let me go. Roxas…I…" She stared at me, and then unexpectedly a Dark Portal opened its massive jaws and snapped her up.

We stared at where she had used to be, and Axel muttered quietly:

"She always was the best at those."

The days without Xion were unhappy ones. Axel and I did our missions, and Xemnas was furious that Xion had escaped, but no one could find her, not even his best tracker, Xigbar. We tried to visit our usual spots, the Clock Tower and the bent tree on the islands. Nothing at all. We kept looking at the empty spot where Xion sat, imagining what she'd say. The two sets of footprints on the way to the tree, when there had once been three…

We found it hard to do much, and soon Axel and I vacated our usual spots.

At least for a while, but the memories were getting pretty bad.

My dark thoughts were back, chasing through the corridors in my mind. It seemed my mind had been afire with curiosity and enjoyment, and many things I could muse over with my friends. Now that Xion was gone, I found it harder and harder to face that reality. It was like someone switched off a light switch, and now only dark thoughts entertained my mind during those moments I spent alone, in my retreat, watching the stars glimmering.

Then, I found something out.

I could just ignore it. Sink into a respite from all of it. I let an icy feeling creep over me; I could sense Axel was slightly worried, my reflection was becoming hard and set.

I was becoming a true Nobody, just to escape Xion's death. That's what I called it, even though she didn't. How heroic of her to sacrifice herself to save those she didn't know, but how tragic as well.

But it was easier this way, to become cold like the others, it blotted out memories of her…


	7. Dark Descent

Chapter Seven: Dark Descent

So, that's what came from it. Having missions done successfully, time after time, has placed me above many of the senior Organization members.

They'll see.

No matter what time you joined, you can still rise above the others. If my ice armor hadn't been on, my mental armor against the pain of losing…her…then I would have smiled.

So many empty chairs.

Marluxia, Larxene, so many others. Half of us. Gone in the disastrous Castle Oblivion event where luckily Axel had survived.

They refused to talk, refused to tell me…who had done it?

I think I know. Sora. My Somebody. It had to be him. No one else could have done it…except maybe the wolf haired boy.

I crossed my arms. Yes…I see now. He must have the answers. I couldn't stand it, I had to know. My curiosity had become an obsession. Who was Sora? If they wouldn't give me answers I'd get it on my own.

Woe to those who try to stop _me_, the Key of Destiny!

Why did the Keyblade choose me? Was it because Sora was my Somebody? Or…something else entirely? I had to know.

I had to speak to the cursed boy who had told Xion she had to help that _girl_.

I had to find Sora.

I walked out while most were on a mission, and the senior members were having a meeting. I walked out into the streets, deserted save for the blue neon lights. No one in sight. I had to get my answers; I had to find the wolf haired boy.

I saw Axel. He was leaning against a building, looking down. Waiting.

I kept on walking.

"So, you're leaving."

I stopped. I heard the undercurrent of pain in his voice. We were friends, like brothers I guess…it hurt me to hurt him, even though I know my sudden loss of emotion was scaring him, I didn't care. My ice armor was fully in place. Without turning to look at him I said:

"Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know."

Axel suddenly snarled, "You can't turn your back on the Organization!"

I still didn't look at him as he continued,

"Cross them and they'll destroy you!"

I scoffed and kept walking, he didn't follow. "No one would miss me."

His last words would have struck at my heart if I had one. He seemed to have deflated, his anger subsiding.

"That's not true! I would."

I kept walking.

It began to rain, the droplets giving the city an eerie look. I didn't know where I was going to start, but I would find the boy who ruined Xion's life, and get some answers. Maybe the island with the tree…

Heartless. They came in swarms, tall black ones with yellow eyes. Not Shadows, the more advanced Neo Shadows…

I struck, dealing ruthless blows, letting my anger over Zion flash out onto them. How dare they have a heart?

If I had one, my heart would have twisted as I remembered Xion's words.

"_If they're made of hearts, why are they called Heartless?"_

I froze. There, on the skyscraper, was the boy! The Heartless scatted into their watery shadow portals as the boy leaped off the skyscraper, landing lithe as a cat, his blindfold still tight on his face.

I stared at him, my own hood pulled up. Neither could see the other's face.

"Where's Sora?" I demanded.

He said nothing, but he charged at me. He swung his sword, and I dodged, grimly prepared to fight to the death.

Part of me hoped Axel was still nearby, but I think he went back to the castle.

We dueled and dodged, but I was superior to him. I flipped his weapon from his grasp, knocking him on his back.

"Why? Why do you have the Keyblade?" He asked in a tone I didn't recognize.

I didn't know the answer to that, and if he didn't, then I had no further use for him.

For ruining Zion's life, he had to die.

I struck at him only to be grabbed in midair, a monstrous Heartless with dark black skin and strange white markings had grabbed me. My Keyblades dropped onto the ground, clattering before vanishing in their respective black and white flashes.

I writhed uselessly, but the wolf boy's monster Heartless had me in its grip. They boy was thrashing oddly, but I didn't care. The choking darkness was crashing down on me; the Heartless was pummeling me senseless…

I drifted off into the blackness.


	8. The End

Chapter Eight: The End

My life, (not much of one), had flashed before my eyes.

And now I was at the end.

DiZ and Xemnas. Not much difference between them. Both want to use me for their own means. Both wanted to crush my friendship. Was I doomed to end like this, alone?

First there had been Axel and…Xion…both were my friends. It was Xion who figured out what Xemnas was doing, it was that _wolf haired boy _who had caused the trouble with her…

She had been afraid that Xemnas had found out she knew.

Saix was the one who had spoken to Axel, or so he told me, about whether my destruction or his petty friendship with me was more important.

Evidently friendship was, throughout my time in Twilight Town, the computer version; he seemed reluctant to kill me.

Had…I killed him? My only living friend?

I deserved to die.

However…and my mind became confused at these words, Namine had said I wouldn't vanish, I would become whole. My memories returned to me, I recalled the empty feeling I had had…

I stared at the great white flower, the pod that housed Sora, my Somebody, whom I had only seen in my dreams, and I wondered what I should do. I had nothing left, I never really had been friends with Hayner and Pence and Olette. They were just digital shadows to keep me preoccupied…My ice armor was still there, there to shield me from the pain I was feeling, but I didn't accept it. I rejected it. No more hiding.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?

What would happen to me? Would Sora be in control, would I just sort of vanish? Unable to do anything, would I still have a conscious mind…or…?

There were no answers to my questions. I looked briefly at DiZ, still watching.

DiZ. Another guy wanting to use me, hiding behind his holograms. Share my anger with Sora? Sora didn't need my anger; I'd only warp his good heart…

Then it occurred to me, this was what the Organization had always wanted. A heart. If I fused with him, I'd have it, I'd have a real heart. There was nothing left for me anyway, Axel and Xion were both gone, my Twilight Town friends vanished with the shutdown of this massive digital realm that I was trapped in. The Heartless had hearts, but like Xion had once said, even if we took it, it still wouldn't be truly ours.

The only realm I actually had a life, what it would be like to be normal. To go to school. To have parents and friends. Suddenly it seemed inconceivably cruel to show me what could have happened, to show me the life Sora had, and suddenly rip it away. The anger flowed like lava through my veins but I let it pass. A feeling of acceptance crept over me, and my fast thinking had only caused a few seconds to crawl by.

The white flower opened, revealing long white petals and inside…

Sora.

Floating, peaceful, the same untidy brown hair that was a darker echo of my own. I saw some of my face in his and several resemblances besides that. He was asleep, but my memories said he had blue eyes. Amusingly, his clothes were a little too small for him; he had been sleeping for a while.

There it was. The answer. The Castle Oblivion incident had to be him. I was going to do what Xion had done, save the others that were connected to him, this single boy with the heart of gold, and in the process possibly destroy myself.

Namine's words, that I would be whole, were the only thing that kept me from bolting, or at least getting another whack at DiZ.

"Sora," I said softly.

I smiled slightly, feeling DiZ's eyes on my back. "Sora, you're lucky." He truly would have no idea how lucky. "Looks like my summer vacation is…over."

I stretched a hand toward him, stepping toward the pod. I felt like a man heading to the gallows.

Or maybe something better. The closer I got to him the more a weird feeling intensified. It felt like I was being sucked, like when you let the water out of a bathtub. I touched his chest.

The world fractured, everything broke into little colored shards that no longer mattered. Nothing mattered. My tired mind replayed memories of Xion and Axel and me, some of Sora's memories, and lastly Namine. My thoughts seemed to linger there, the colored shards showing her face…

For a moment that was both too long and too short, I was omniscient. I knew everything. The universe was stretched before me like a glittering trail of glass caught in the light of a sun setting forever on a world. Then it vanished, everything slowly moving toward me at first, then gathering speed before collecting into a ball of light.

I was in Sora's mind. He was still asleep, his thoughts muted, but he was dreaming also. His memories, some I were unfamiliar with, paraded past me. I saw Riku, and Kairi, the same girl I had spoke to that had reminded me of Xion, because of her voice, but Namine even more so.

He was still worried, even when sleeping, his thoughts drifted to Riku and speculating on his whereabouts.

Riku. The wolf haired boy. Of course.

I faintly heard DiZ's voice.

"Only you can wake him. Speak his name."

I hesitated, and then I tried to speak.

"Sora?"

He stirred, his mind clicked on, everything suddenly whirled into golden action. I allowed myself to drift, let my whole being scatter inside his.

And then, I knew, Namine was right.

I was whole. Let the world do what they will, because judging on what DiZ had said, Sora would destroy the rest of the Organization, and through him, me.

They deserved to die. I would get every last one of them, and enjoy every moment. I would get to speak to Kairi, hopefully, because part of me wanted to see her. I was amazed Sora felt that same protective feeling for her that I had felt for Xion.

My name is Roxas. I am a Nobody, a being without a heart that joined Organization XIII to find one. I had friends, both digitally and in real life, I might even have found someone who was the equal of Kairi to me…

My name is Roxas. And my conscious life is at its end.


End file.
